STARTING RECOVERY

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I woke up this morning yawning and grateful I wasn't in a detox cot or in a hospital bed. Those days, I would stifle my nausea and squirm around hoping nobody was dead or staring at me...both bad news. My city, Toronto has many detox centers and a few hospitals that may show a necessity style compassion to those in acute withdrawal state. C.A.M.H is the best approach. I could drone on about the science of addiction including withdrawal with its ties to pharmacology, psych-therapeutic modes, social stigma or spiritual malady, it's a long, heady discussion. I like to speak from experience and focus on enlightenment of awareness for those interested.

Mark 5:1-5 New Living Translation (NLT)

Jesus Heals a Demon-Possessed Man

5 So they arrived at the other side of the lake, in the region of the Gerasenes. 2 When Jesus climbed out of the boat, a man possessed by an evil spirit came out from the tombs to meet him. 3 This man lived in the burial caves and could no longer be restrained, even with a chain. 4 Whenever he was put into chains and shackles—as he often was—he snapped the chains from his wrists and smashed the shackles. No one was strong enough to subdue him. 5 Day and night he wandered among the burial caves and in the hills, howling and cutting himself with sharp stones.

Today, let's talk about the patients and front line workers in these settings or, institutions. A detox center is a small cave of a setting. Usually the intake or "observation area" is where you'll end up at first. This being after you willingly gave up your drug of choice, were admitted by a caring friend or family member, had no money or health left to continue or were ordered there by the authorities rather than prison. ( Which is another style of detox I'll write about later... Let's focus on the nicer of them all for today.) The observation areas of private or city run detox centers are generally a large room or dorm with upward to twenty small cots arranged closely around each other. Inhabiting these beds are a wide range of folks. Those in different stages of withdrawal from a complete list of substances. Each has their own illness and their own life story. Alcoholics are shaky, vomiting and sweaty. Those addicted to crack are fidgety and agitated. Opioid withdrawal is evident in the guy three beds down for me moaning and curling up tightly. You'll spend the next few days in observation while void of any medical attention. The staff are brash and tired. Dull eyes betray the overexposure to this scene and limit the interest they once had in empathy. If you can, talk as little as possible and don't die. Best you can do here.

Hospitals will admit you if you pose a specific health issue. Seizure prone, suicidal, violently aggressive, unconscious or overdose all work. Check out the CIWA criteria. If you make the grade, you’ll earn a bed, an IV from which you'll receive re-hydration and a medical professional dishing out medicine and complacent judgment. Isolation wreaks further depression designed for critical self-assessment leading to certain recidivism.

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"Relapse is a common part of the recovery process. According to the National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA), relapse statistics show that 40-60% of people relapse after completing treatment. This relapse rate is comparable to that seen with physical illnesses, such as asthma and high blood pressure, for which the rate of relapse is between 50-70%. 

The chances of relapse after rehab are moderately high, indicating that relapse is a normal part of recovery and not an individual failure."

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Hopefully, sooner than later, the social worker will come see you and you'll be released all spruced up and ready for a treatment center or home too anxious arms. That's if you have a home. Don't get me started on the shelter system of Toronto. Ask our loving Mayor. There are those who bring their love and heart to their jobs at these places. I'll take a moment to mention those selfless, endlessly caring people who replicate the passion of God embodying the tendencies of Christ. Others simply pay to Caesar what belongs to Caesar.

So, with a little insight into the minor details of these places, I'd like to share my own experience of what it's like to be there. My thoughts... Oh God, what am I doing here, I feel horrible, can anyone see me? I want to die. Now it may stifle many to appreciate anything about this person or this situation at hand. The questions I’ve faced over the years sound something like this.

What the hell is wrong with you?

I thought you were a Christian or are you?

Why don't you just stop?

Are you crazy?

So I'll answer a few now as I am, clean, sober, normal, socially acceptable for a long time. I'll linger in universal language so the rhetoric is tangible to all.

What the hell is wrong with you? Iss a good one. There seems to be much research on the topic. The answer comes in a situational variety. Disease model, self-medication, concurrent disorder, demon-possessed all work when properly applied.

In my case, addiction in a biopsychosocial sense, reared its head when I was 17 years old.

NOTE: Congratulations to the academia involved in the psychology and social work departments for finally adding the most necessary contributor to this formula. SPIRITUAL. I was enjoying Europe at the time, skateboarding around Germany and pondering life. Inexplicable panic attacks emerged and landed me in an asylum until my mother came to bring me home. My first drug of choice was given to me by the swiftest of dealers, a psychiatrist. After being diagnosed with a general/ social anxiety disorder I was issued 6 mg of clonazepam daily to soothe my persistent fears.

†φαρμακεία pharmakeía, far-mak-i'-ah; medication ("pharmacy"), i.e. (by extension) magic (literally or figuratively):—sorcery, witchcraft.

Galatians 5:18-21

“But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not subject to the law. Now the works of the flesh are obvious: fornication, impurity, licentiosness, idolatry, sorcery (pharmakeia), enmities, strife, jealousy, anger, quarrels, dissensions, factions, envy, drunkeness, carousing, and things like these. I am warning you, as I warned you before: those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.”

I could drone on about natural or social reasons I may have for being under the weather emotionally but I'll stay on the topic at hand which is addiction. For those unaware or interested, benzodiazepines are statistically the most addictive and dangerous anti-anxiety medication where withdrawal management is concerned. They top the charts where seizures and death from sudden discontinuation occur. Currently, they are listed as a controlled substance and used minimally. The same hands that issued them to me at the age of 17, continue to use them to treat its cousin, alcohol abuse. The tools of the trade never get rusty. When I realized I was addicted to these pills they were gradually reduced and I felt somewhat free. When my panic attacks returned, likely due to benzo addiction, they were no longer available to me. The dealer had left the building. The liquor store was handy as I soon learned that alcohol affected the same neural receptors as do benzodiazepines. So what's wrong with me? Something was now, that's for sure only... How do I deal with it and still be acceptable at the same time?

Next question: Why don't you just stop?

Well, I certainly wanted to. I definitely wasn't the Coors Light umbrella toting, frisbee playing, beer swiller at the beach. The cool guy enjoying the crazy, hazy, lazy days of summer. I was the isolated guy sipping shots of vodka while still trying to figure out the breathless anxiety I felt without my Valium. Depression and increased anxiety were my party favors. I had become a dysfunctional alcoholic. I earned certificates of completion from several treatment centers whether they be spiritually oriented, holistic, 12-step model or psychiatric. I learned so much only to get worse. I met thousands in the same malady and asked them the popular question... why don't you stop? The answers varied but most streamed the same common denominator being emotional or psychological sickness needing therapy. Anxiety disorders and depression were dominant factors in most I've met in my institutional tour.

Isaiah 41

Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Philippians 4:6-8

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

Do I ask diabetics why they don't stop taking their insulin?

Final question: Would you please go to the detox, get some help?

I surely did. Detoxes, hospitals and a host of residential treatment programs only to do it all again. What is the problem here? Why weren't we cured with this vast knowledge in modern approach therapy at its best?

The Life Recovery Bible NLT,

Preface

“ Without God, there is no recovery, only disappointing substitutions and repeated failure.”

How does proof sound to you? To me it sounds like praise. Check out this traditional hymn.

Christ the solid rock

It speaks about where my dependency belongs and the wonderful life it brings. My name is Dennis. I am 49 and I love God. I’m a praise and worship leader. I am free from drugs, alcohol benzos anxiety and depression. I love my cat and all of God's other creatures. I advise you to do the same.

Luke 8:34-39 New International Version (NIV)

34 When those tending the pigs saw what had happened, they ran off and reported this in the town and countryside, 35 and the people went out to see what had happened. When they came to Jesus, they found the man from whom the demons had gone out, sitting at Jesus’ feet, dressed and in his right mind; and they were afraid. 36 Those who had seen it told the people how the demon-possessed man had been cured. 37 Then all the people of the region of the Gerasenes asked Jesus to leave them, because they were overcome with fear. So he got into the boat and left.

38 The man from whom the demons had gone out begged to go with him, but Jesus sent him away, saying, 39 “Return home and tell how much God has done for you.” So the man went away and told all over town how much Jesus had done for him.

God runs the only successful detox center. I encourage those in need to seek this help along with the necessary detox methods suited to your situation. I am living evidence of it's effective outcome. please, Brothers and Sisters join me.

Revelation 21:3-6 New International Version (NIV)

3 And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. 4 ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’[a] or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”

5 He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.”

6 He said to me: “It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To the thirsty I will give water without cost from the spring of the water of life.

May we all pray for the labelled addicts and mentally ill of the world and give them a new loving title.

Free in Christ